Age of Chaos
by damaddok
Summary: The Warhammer realm is a brutal place, where death is painful and sacrifice is thankless. Final Fantasy has been done to death so I want to try somerhing new. This will make Final Fantasy VII lookir like a children's playground. With the Eds of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Yet another spur of the moment. Came when I read Gotrek and Felix for the first time. I don't own anything here. Except maybe the names of one or two expendable characters.**

Ed, Edd, n Eddy: Age of Chaos.

The Cult of the End Times had worked tirelessly for years. Agent from the jungles of Lustria, Albion, and Cathay had finally returned, bearing the artefacts that would begin the ritual of summoning. Arch-Lord Fernfprecher Keller began to call upon the winds of magic in their raw form, feeling it course through him and into the carefully arranged circle of artifacts. He felt daemonic figures, great ones, being drawn to watch what would take place. They had to come for his soul, but he was too strong for that he knew. He could easily blast them aside, but that was unimportant. All his focus had to go to ensure the ritual was completed. And it would have had it not been for those damned Witch hunters that came storming in just then. "By edict of Karl Franz, you are dubbed traitors of the Empire, and heretics in the eyes of Sigmar! You're penalty is death. May the gods have mercy on you for we cannot!" yelled his Fernfprecher's hated brother, Otto. Behind him swarmed state troops bearing the standard of Middenheim.

……

"And this is the proper way to fix a motorcycle." Onizuka finished, underlining his last statement on the board.

The home rooms was surprisingly quiet as many students actually found Onizuka's voluntary lecture on the subject "Mechanical Junk and Why They Break All the Friggin Time." Quite interesting.

Eddy however, was having none of it, He was with his only two friends in the back of the classroom twirling one of the quarters he scammed of some first graders. Edd, his intellectual friend was avidy making notes o the lecture, as he believed the pursuit of knowledge was the best possible thing anyone an do. Ed, the muscle just sat in his desk , his textbook on Radiology propped upside down while reading "Magical death Stuff" on the inside.

"Yawn." Dismissed Eddy after the lecture was finished, Edd frowned and turned to his friend Eddy.

"Really now, why can't you open up to Mr. Onizuka, he's foreign to the country, and is trying his best. He's probably never even had a homeroom like us before."

"I told you sock head, I'll care when I care. Sides, Onizuka's just asking for a pranking." Eddy said, smacking a fist into his palm.

"Is that so Mr. 'I'm still thinking about a good prank for here weeks'" Ed suddenly but in. "Why don't you turn his lead pencils into gold and make him think he's a millionaire, then have the gold turn back to lead so that the Black Market Triad will come and place a bounty on his head."

Eddy and Edd just stared at their clueless partner in crime. "Edd hand me your ruler." Eddy finally said, to which Edd complied. He flexed the ruler and gave Ed a hard smack. "That's dumber than your old idea of turning him into a frog!"

……

_How had they found me? Now when I am so close?_ panicked Fernfprecher. He pushed such needless thoughts aside. "Go, this must not fail! GO!" he yelled to his followers and thee cultists moved as one to intercept the Empire's troops. "The Ender has come!" they cried as they were run through.

……

Kevin continued to appear like he hadn't a care in the world, occasionally stealing glances over at the Eds, who he knew would try to scam him the moment they left his line of sight. His athletic friend Rolf sat next to him, pondering the teacher's writing. "Why does teacher-with-long-sounding-name require us to be using a doohickey to repair a doubled wheeled instrument of transport that requires no foot power? It confounds Rolf to no end."

"Rolf, it's called a motorcycle. Get with the times dude." He sighed, scratching his cheek.

"Get with what times Kevin-boy? What time is Rolf in? Certainly not nap-time, not Nana-time, not even boil-the-beets-and-make-beet-wine-time. What time is it now? I thought was listen-to-teacher-with-long-sounding-name time."

Kevin slapped a hand over his eyes. He almost preferred the company of Johnny, the annoying kid who was currently situated behind him playing jacks with a plank of wood. Almost. Between him and Plank, the plank of wood's name, he would probably throw himself under a train. "Never mind. Just try to figure it out before we leave. Which is in 5 minutes." Kevin sighed, looking back at the Eds, and then clutching his wallet.

……

The Dark Gods have been kind to them, as many grabbed the spears that gutted them, and pulled the holder closer, revealing hideous mutations of claws, whips, and bony blades in place of arms. Men screamed in horror as they were hacked to pieces, intermingling with the laughter of the heretics. A loud crack came from the pistol of Otto, lodging a lead ball straight between the eyes of a cultist blessed by Papa Nurgle, his blessed diseases doing no good with a hole in his brain. Otto drew his blade, forged by dwarfs and blessed by Sigmarite priests, and joined the fray, felling cultists left and right. Heartened by such a sight the state troops pressed further. Nearly half of his flock lay dead or dying, and the remainder were quickly joining their fallen bretheren. He let some of the magic flowing in the circle to flow outwards and into his arm. A ball of Nothing formed and hovered just above his fingers. With a syllable, the ball flew towards the state troops, and sucked away life from all it touched, regardless of allegiance. Men died and shriveled into dried husks like the passage of a millennium had passed over them. "I have won this time brother, this time I won!" cackled Fernfprecher, just a moment to soon as Otto had reloaded his pistol with a lead ball, inscribed by dwarfs as a bane to all things chaos. The powder ignited.

……

"This is stupid, why do e have to listen to all this garbage about motors and cars and stuff its nothing but icky boys stuff. Grimaced Sarah.

"I'm a boy." Stammered Jimmy, Sarah's only male companion.

"I said icky boys Jimmy, don't worry." She patted Jimmy's shoulder.

"I wasn't even paying attention Sarah. Mr. O did say it was voluntary." Nazz, the most popular girl in the class, perhaps the school said to Sarah, fixing an unruly strand of hair.

"Speaking about attention, look what the Ed's are up to." Jimmy pointed to the three. Eddy had just hit Ed between the eyes so hard that the ruler he was holding broke in two, much to the distress of Edd. "Ah I hit Ed like that everyday since I was born. That dolt can take alot more than that."

"Still, that can't be god for his head." Sarah winced.

"There wasn't much there to start with. Ugh! Hurry up! Can this get any worse?" Sarah groaned. It's weird how it always does get worse when someone asks if it can.

……

A shot. It did not kill him. But the searing agony that came from his chest told him it hadn't missed. He felt the magic begin to seep away from his body as his blood leaked from the wound. The magic lost direction and control, and became erratic. The summoning circle had been disturbed as the Arch Lord stepped onto a figurine of a warrior from Cathay. After wards, the whole thing went to hell.

……

Well, since all that's done, I'm gonna step out for a minute." Onizuka dropped his pen onto the board and left, making a beeline for the bathroom. The moment the door closed, there seemed to be a breeze in the room, it was slight at first, blowing through everyone's hair, but grew and grew more violent, blowing papers, folders, books, then people. The classroom was a maelstrom that crackled with energy, drowning out the cries of terror. Then faster than it had arrived, the wind dissipated, along with the students. At that precise moment, Onizuka came back into the classroom. "K so where were we?" he asked, before looking into his classroom. He stood for a second as his brain processed the wreckage. Then he noticed his students were missing. "AUGH! I lost my students!" wailed Onizuka, flopping to the ground. For a second, then recollected himself instantly. "I shall find them, even if I have to hunt for them at the four corners of the Earth!" he struck a heroic pose, on foot on top of a capsized desk. "…except Japan, I'm still wanted.". He then delivered a flying kick to the classroom door, sending it flying off its hinges an stormed out.

……

Magic swirled about the room, striking down mortals in the most turbulent areas, Otto sounded a retreat, and many of the cultists actually followed, fear of the magic unleashed greater than that of the Elector Count's torture chambers. Fernfprecher stood there helplessly as the winds of chaos stripped him of his magic, then his flesh, then his bone till all that was left was his soul, which was quickly snatched and torn apart by hundreds of hungry daemons.

……

The first thing Edd saw after the swirling vortex had faded was a swirling mass of colors. Colors that didn't have names, nor should. He then saw the colors change and congeal, forming a pleasing tapestry of forbidden pleasures. A waft of perfume hit him as he floated towards creatures that looked like alluring women, but with pinkish skin and black, depthless eyes. A change in winds and he was yanked in a different direction. He saw Ed flying past him, flapping his arms like a goose, afraid that if he stopped he would fall. Edd looked down and saw what had frightened him. A giant mass of creatures with ravenous jaws that seemed to change on themselves and reform into things more hideous than before. He looked up to see a screaming Sarah, clutching onto a semi-conscious Jimmy for dear life as they were tugged away like leaves in the wind. The he too felt the tug and moved in a similar direction. The scenery changed, and what relief he felt was replaced by nausea. A realm where creatures wrapped n soiled clothes and unwashed bandages croaked various names into the wind, every now and again, one would form an enourmous wet or boil, that ruptured into a flower of pus and wriggling maggots. Edd fought with all his might to keep his stomach from luching its contents. Then he saw Eddy, who was not so successful, showering thecreatures below with his lunch. The monsters didn't seem to care, or even noticed and continued to chant in a language that made the urge to hurl all the greater. As the lands turned from pale green to red, his sickness was replaced by bowel clenching terror. Countless monsters, and humans were fighting, screaming, dying, while an enourmous being watched from a throne built by millions of skulls. It hurt his eyes just looking at the emourmous creatures gore-encrusted feet, so he didn't even bother looking at the rest. In the distance, he heard the whimpering of Kevin. Or maybe that was Johnny. Edd felt like he was reaching his wit's end when the lands changed to something more sane. Instead of being a swirling mass of insanity, they were wastelands, roaming bands that would actually notice him and roar obscenities at him. He saw that his friends float right beside him, Eddy ghostly pale, Ed, too frightened to speak, and the others in various states of semi-concsiousness. The land grew greener, more normal the farther they went, and then, they separated again. The tug weakened, and Edd seemed to be moving towards the ground. It seemed like he survived those mind bending horrors just to die in some land he was alien to. It was so unfair he thought as the ground moved ever closer. The tug had all but gone and he fell, and landed surprisingly close to a grubby patch of worn earth. Edd spat out the pebbles and dust that invaded his mouth and stood up. He looked at his surroundings and immediately saw the enormous city in front of him. The spires that seemed to touch the sky, the palace, covered with spikes, iron crosses, and skulls seemed to overshadow all. It was all so primitive and alluring at the same time. His reverie was snapped when he heard hoof beats on the ground. Edd squinted to see a band of armed men riding on horse back towards him. Before he could say a word, he was surrounded, halberds aimed at him. "Move at your peril heretic!" the one that was apparently the leader said.

"Heretic? What did I do?"

"He talks all fancy doesn't he? And those clothes, I'd say he's one f them magic users." A man behind him said. At this the line of halberds edged away, but still stood in a tight circle.

"If so, Herr Keller will be interested in this one. Best bring Herr Brieg to see how strong this whelp is." The leader replied. He leaned a bit closer to Edd, a smile on his scar-encrusted lips. "Welcome to Middenheim witch!"

**So there you have it. No, if your wondering, Edd will not become a wizard. A different character will be a Gold Wizard of the College of Chamon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was tired as heck when I made the first half o this one, so that will probably explain the poor grammar. Once again, I own none of this save the odd character I put in to advance the plot or to die in horrible agony.**

2

"He carries no skill." the bright wizard said. Otto Keller took another look at the boy they had placed in the stock.

"How do you now he is simply not masking his power Herr Brieg?" he asked, a slight hint of suspicion.

"The winds of magic do not allow such a thing to be possible. Even if he held power and hid it, I could still see the winds permeate him, but they move and flow around him. No skill at all. Not even potential." Brieg replied. The one they held moaned a bit. Getting even a magical interrogation was trying for anyone.

The boy named Edd looked up. Barely able to keep his eyes open from the wave of exhaustion, but struggled to stay conscious, he saw a strange man in a long leather jacket, with a rough looking dark leather hat. His suit was obscured by countless belts containing flasks of liquids and semi-solids. On his left, he had a gilded black powder pistol in an iron encrusted holster, and on his right was a rapier, the Iron Cross emblazoned on the silver hilt. The man next to him was even stranger looking. Dressed n Orange-red lowing robes, he had iron bars surrounding his head like a collar. He had a set of giant keys on his belt and held one tightly in an arm covered with writing. His other hand held a staff which had a skull on top, a fire blazing inside its hollow eyes. The witch hunter looked down at Edd, malice gleaming in his eyes. "Congratulations, you have been spared a horrific death. What shall I call you boy?"

"Edd. Just Edd." He replied, the words slurring out.

"Well Edd, care to explain as to why the state watch found you floating down from the sky? You are certainly not Sigmar incarnate."

_Sigmar?_ Edd pondered. He quickly recollected his experience that led him to this world. Out of fear of more pain, he left out the part about the horrors he saw in that other impossible dimension. All the while Otto listened, nodding from time to time, or glancing to Brieg, who looked like he had better things to do.

"I think I have the solution. If you came when you said you came, odds are it is probably my fault." Edd's head snapped up instantly in surprise.

"I was raiding a cell of cultists right here in Middenheim, my brother was leading them in a ritual that would tear a hole in the middle of this fair city, and allow Tcha'zanek and his numberless hordes to sweep aside all resistance." He said nonchalantly, waving his hand about for added value. "I disrupted the ritual, and the spell went awry. You see, once a spell of that magnitude begins, it doesn't stop, it continues down some random path till it uses up its energy. That energy was used up bringing you and your companions here to the Old World." Edd kneeled there (He's in the stocks remember that), shocked. Then anger. He struggled against the shackles, but thanks to his lack in the physical department, couldn't even budge them.

"You are angry. Justifiable. But honestly I couldn't care. You could rot in this place for all I care, but if you were to find some use for the Empire, then I might consider letting you go." Otto growled smiling. Edd's anger quickly dissipated to fear at the sight of that smile

……

"What good can a child do for me?!" Rouck exclaimed. After a quick test of skill, and a few days ride, Otto had taken Edd to Nuln, mainly because he had some 'business' there. During the trip Edd had been informed of the state of the Old World, of the constant attacks of beastmen, of the ever permeating threat of Chaos, the Greenskin menace, and much more. Now here they stood at the entrance to the College of Engineering, with Edd holding on to a satchel containing what few possession given to him by Otto: several marks, a knife, and a change of clothes.

"By my orders," Otto said, his fiercest scowl covering his face. "Herr Edd here will be a student here in Nuln until greater time. Should you disagree, you can take up your complaint with Countess Emmanuele." Rouck blenched, his wax moustache making a noticeable droop.

"Of course Herr Otto, he may." He conceded with great reluctance.

Otto quickly said "He will advance through your ranks fast. In fact, he may even make a few improvements to this school."

"Is he truly the prodigy you so build him up to be?"

"He is. He will make great advances for the college."

"Or blow it up." Rouck said under his breath. Otto didn't notice, but turned to Edd.

"Edd, this is where we part ways. Should we ever see each other again, pray it is not with my gun in your face." Otto said grimly and started off. Rouck sneered at the witch hunter's back, and then turned anger at Edd. "Come boy! I shall take you to your dormitory. There you will be staying with a guest from the Colleges of Magic. Tomorrow we shall see your prodigal abilities at work." Rouck set off, not even looking back at Edd who hurried after. At this time, Edd managed to get a good look at Rouck, or a least his backside. He was dressed in a brown leather jerkin, with red sleeves hanging loosely to the sides. His pants were pitch black and made from what looked like itchy wool. Ruock came to an abrupt halt at a door, to which Edd barely kept from bumping into him. He opened the door and handed Edd the key. "He may be a magic user boy," he used the word magic in disgust. "but be polite, he is a Metal Wizard!" Edd was indeed surprised. From what little he knew, the Metal College was the only wizard school that the Engineering school considered themselves in good terms with. All others were dismissed as users of a bunch of parlor tricks.

Edd stepped into the room and set his satchel down by a bed. "Greetings sir, I am-"

"DOUBLE D YOU'RE NOT DEAD!!" cried out a familiar voice, followed by a familiar bone crushing hug. "Ed?! What are you doing…can't breath!" Ed let go and Edd got a good look at his once lost companion. Ed had on robes of what seemed like liquid gold, various vials hanging from a tight belt. "You're the metal wizard?"

"Uh…" Ed took out a folded piece of parchment from his pocket and read it. "No good citizen, do not distinguish me as a man of the dark powers, I am merely a student of the Metal College that works ceaselessly to protect you and your family from the threat of the Ruinous Powers and protect blessed Sigmar's lands from peril. But first, may you direct me to the College of Engineeirng? I have been instructed by my master, Herr Balthazar Gelt to attend the College and better grasp alchemy and therefore protect he Empire's borders." He folded the parchment up and put it back into his pocket.

Edd stared at Ed, and then smiled. "Well it is good to se a familiar face in such a strange land. Still, a wizard, I never expected you to be of a magical persuasion, though that would make some sense considering your affinity to the supernatural."

Ed blinked and pulled out the parchment again. "No good citizen, do not distinguish…" Edd sighed happily as Ed droned on his message. Laying his pack on his bed (he knew it was his because it didn't look like a garbage bomb hit it), he laid himself on the mattress. Given the exhausting day he had, he drifted off into slumber.

……

Edd woke to what felt like solid ground. _I must've fallen in my slumbers_ he thought and opened his eyes. He didn't fall off, but his pillow as replaced by a rock. "What the?" the rock shifted back into a pillow. "Like it Double D? I can change stuff into other stuff, but I can't do it for very long." Edd saw that Ed was up and fully dressed, but he also held a staff of what seemed like various metals shifted into a single shaft. "You have to wake up sleepy head. You slept through breakfast." Ed scolded.

Just as he finished, the door flew open, and Rouck stepped in. "Ah good morning to you Herr Ed." He smiled, then turned to Edd, frowning. "Good to see you've not joined the dead." Edd was slightly embarrassed. He was so used to being punctual. "Never mind that, you have testing to do boy. If you want to stay in the college, you must show you have a basic grasp of engineering. Otherwise, you may have to spend your entire career coat-tailing Herr Ed." Edd said nothing, but inwardly, he couldn't wait to show his skills, and rub Rouck's nose in it.

……

"Very good Herr Edd, I never would have thought of it that way." Smiled Master engineer Andulf. His test of alchemy had a few flaws that Edd had pointed out, and as a result, made a very powerful mixture of gunpowder. Ed cheered from the back of the room, eating popcorn ("Where'd you get that?" asked a student). Rouck was not pleased.

"Congratulations Herr Edd, you have built a model of a Steam tank in record time." Master Engineer Geltwun praised. Ed smiled as he continued to wolf down another bag of popcorn ("Where'd you get that?" asked a professor.) Rouck fumed.

If anything, Edd's knowledge of Engineering surpassed that of most of the masters. Twice he had actually corrected his tester, re-designed a prototype blueprint, and built a gyro-pack in record time (your run of the mill jet pack with helicopter blades instead of exhaust jets). All the while Rouck observed, his demeanor getting sourer as Edd proved more an more adept at building. Finally, by an almost unanimous decision (Rouck not included) Edd's name was added that to the list of Master Engineers, possibly the youngest ever to achieve the title. Ed clapped jubilantly from his seat, flailing his bag of popcorn all over is fellow spectators ("You're not gonna tell me where you got that aren't you?" said a dwarf).


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a while hasn't it

**It's been a while hasn't it? Well I've been n college and in order to get all my courses in, I've been taking night classes and summer courses. Then whenever I am not studying or in class I'm working. This was done over the brief periods I actually had spare time to just, fool around**

3

"That was amazing Double D!" Ed exclaimed back in their dormitory. "Oh I bet if Eddy was here, he'd be so proud. He'd probably say 'Now lets get to work on a water ballon cannon.' or something like that." He said jubilantly.

"Thank you Ed. That means a lot coming from you." Edd smiled back, still elated over his promotion to Master Engineer in one day. More so, Rouck had been forced to acknowledge his abilities, regardless of how much he hated it, and Edd hoped he hated it a lot.

The celebration of his impromptu promotion had spread through the entire college and students and professors alike were celebrating with a great feast. One particularly old-looking dwarf managed to procure a barrel of Bugman's Brew XXXXXXXXX, and the entire student body was out in a maelstrom of dancing, swearing, and brawls. Edd was a bit more restrained and did not drink much at all, and Ed imply took one sip and decided he did not like the beer. By nightfall, the college was filled with he snores of drunken students and professors, and Edd who was quite exhausted was fining it very troublesome trying to get to sleep. Ed seemed unfazed by the time of day, and was taken to practicing his magic on his bed, transfusing a lump of coal into various items, a nail, a pencil, a jawbreaker for a second, and various other shapes. Edd sighed and laid in his bed, waiting for his exhaustion to drown out the noise.

CRUMP!

Edd jumped with a start. "Ed! What did you do?" he shouted reflexivley. He turned to see Ed looking at him innocently. "It wasn't me", he said "my hands are clean." He held up his hands to show they were encrusted with coal. Edd immediately was on his feet. He remembered what Otto had told him. The Empire was filled with dissent, either through envy, or other reasons, and someone might have been making an attempt on his life. Slowly Edd slinked to the door and pulled out the knife Otto gave him, holding it clumsily as he had no real experience with it. Ed, sensing the change in mood, leapt down from his bed and followed, taking slow deliberate steps behind Edd. Edd eased the door open a crack, and he saw outside that a cloaked figure had landed not too far from his room. The figure was already running down the hall. The was a loud crack and following the figure was…Otto! His pistol was outstretched as he fired off a shot at the retreating figure. Edd closed to door slowly. _So that was the business Otto was busy with. _Edd thought. "Why now?" he said aloud, clenching his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Ed looked at the door and with a wave, opened it. "Well let's go." He declared.

"What?!" Are you crazy?! That was Otto!" Edd yelled. Then he remembered Ed did not know who Otto was. "A witch hunter! Wherever those guys are involved you can guarantee there's trouble! Mutants, cultists, monsters, that's what he deals with on a daily basis."

Ed seemed unfazed, if anything more interested. "Oooh, I always wanted to see a mutant." He smiled and jogged out the door. "Ed, you come back here right now mister!" Edd yelled till his voice cracked. Ed reappeared in the doorway. "Sorry." Edd relaxed a bit. "I forgot you!" he smiled and grabbed the surprised Edd by his collar and bounded off down the hall.

……

Otto kept close heel of his prey. For weeks he had been hunting down the stray escapees of his purging in Middenheim and, according to his information, was the last and most powerful figure that managed to escape his fury. But not this time. The Cult of the End Times would die with this heretic right here in Nuln. The heretic turned down a stairway, and Otto followed, loading his pistol as he ran. At the foot of the stairs he kicked down the door, raised his arm and fired. It hit home, hitting a mutant right between its eyes. The thirty-some other mutants turned as one on Otto, their hate-filled eyes alight with murder, the cloaked heretic behind his brethren, laughing devilishly. "You were a fool to come Herr Keller." Said a familiar voice. The heretic pushed the cowl back and Rouck stared at Otto, madness gleaming behind his spectacles, his cloak slowly sliding off his frame. "The Cult shall never. We are everywhere, in Kislev, Sylvania, Estalia, Tilea, and Brettonia, even as far as Nippon! Face it Herr Keller, the Changer's Chosen is coming and nothing you or the pitiful lackeys of Sigmar, Ulric and all the others put together can stand against his never-ending tide!" And with a gesture, he roused the mutants to attack at once.

Otto jumped back to avoid getting impaled on the spear grafted into one mutant's arm, its head slavering with three mouths. He dodged a swipe and countered at another mutant that crawled on all four scaled limbs that tried to stab with a knife held between its teeth. His blessed sword went into the monster's brain and it gave a pitiful mewl as it died. It was this brief period that gave the mutants an opening and they struck as one, various rusted weapons thrusting in his direction. Only to slam straight into a wall of iron that came rocketing out of the floor. "Mutants!" yelled Ed as he came down the stairs, Edd looking horrified at the sight hiding behind Ed. "I wanna touch them!" he said cheerfully.

Rouck glared at them. "I never did like you so-called wizards, thinking you understand the winds when you really don't. You wish to touch my children? Why don't you let my children come to you? You can ouch them all you want as they devour your innards!" he shouted and the surviving mutants bounded towards Ed.

Ed simply smiled and slammed his staff into the ground, and the iron that mixed in the tiles on the ground formed into a solid ball in front of him. One gesture and the iron formed into balled fists, another gesture and they went flying at the mutants. The mutants were blessed by the Changer to have thicker bones, to allow them to withstand more of an impact. However, 3 pounds of solid iron hitting their face was more of an impact that Tzeentch had prepared them for. The monsters went flying and the fists rammed into them, slamming into stomachs, faces and groins, and rebounding into the nearest mutant. Bodies flew, bones cracked and screams filled the room. Within minutes, mutants lay sprawled over the floor, twitching and moaning in pain. Rouck looked outraged at the metal wizard, and ripped open his shirt, revealing a many fanged mouth where his chest should have been. In unison Rouck and his stomach-mouth spoke. "Tcha'zanek comes; I will be at his side when he sweeps over Nuln! And no one shall get in my way!" and his stomach-mouth spat out a massive gout of fire aimed directly a Ed. Ed looked like a child as the deadly flame closed in, right until the iron fists he made reformed into a giant hand in front of him, stopping the flames. It would only be temporary however as the iron slowly began to turn red and started to warp under the relentless daemonfire. Ed's face contorted with effort to keep the metal wall solid, all while Edd looked on in horror, his knife-hand trembling at the sight of what he was witnessing. Rouck cackled madly as the flames erupted from his chest. He coughed a bit, the hacked as blood began to fill his lungs. A hole was in his chest right where his heart was supposed to be. Otto stared at the mutant, his pistol still smoking. "The Cult may not be gone, but at least I have erased its taint here!" Rouck looked dumbfounded as his knees gave way. He knew that lord Tzeentch was displeased and he would pay for his failure once his soul passed on. He was right.

……

"Well Herr Edd, it seems as though my faith in your abilities has proven for the better. However, now that it is revealed that the esteemed late Rouck was in fact a heretic, the entire college is now in suspicion." Otto began. The following morning, a gathering of the professors, Edd and Ed included were listening to Otto's announcement, albeit with their head covered. After clearing his throat loudly, receiving a chorus of groans caused only by a Bugman's hangover, he continued. "The college will be therefore under inquiry of Karl Franz's secret police." The professors at this point would have been in outrage, but thanks to their nausea and headaches, could only muster a weak grunt of dismay. "Herr Edd and Ed however have proven themselves last night during my hunt. And to better protect them from possible death by assassination, I'm having them transferred to a more remote position. One such as Karaz-a-Karak of the dwarf-holds. We need a new intermediary there for the College anyway." At this one professor fought down the massive urge to hurl to bring his head up and say. "But Herr Keller, is it not currently under siege by the Greenskins? Hasn't Grumlok and his 'WAAGH!' already reached its gates? What would make the two safer there?"

"Because Grumlok has not yet reached it. The battle for Black Fire Pass has yet to be decided and the Greenskins are currently suffering from internal strife. And Karaz-a-Karak is a dwarf-hold, and Herr Edd and Ed will only have to worry about the enemy outside the gate, and not inside. I don't think even Altdorf can boast that with current events…"

The professor nodded, partly because it was true, Altdorf, the heart of the Empire, still had sections in anarchy and the rumors of ratmen…and the other reason was because if he stayed standing any longer he probably would have thrown up. "Are there any further objections?" asked Otto. Edd raised his hand "Just a question. Wouldn't I be safer here now that you'll have a contingent of witch hunters patrolling the College?"  
Otto chuckled. "We cannot be everywhere at once. And besides, you have proved your competency already in a matter of days, rivaling that of the dwarfs. You can put your mind to use in the defense of Black Fire Pass and if events turn dire, Karaz-a-Karak. Your friend Ed, was given permission by his master Balthazar Gelt to accompany you until a time you believe it is right to part ways. Your services will be greatly appreciated by the dwarfs, as it will prove that we are indeed upholding the oath Sigmar made with Kurgan all those years ago…" Otto smiled. A smiled that seemed surprisingly warm. Edd wondered exactly how much that was hurting Otto then. "Nothing else? Then pack your things, your leaving with the trade caravan with trade master Sven Mjolnisson, who will be departing by noon.

……

"It's bad enough trade is dryin' up in Nuln, but naow Ah've got tae beh baebe-sittin a coople a manlins back tae Karaz-a-Karak." Sven muttered.

"I think the point is to mutter so I can't hear you." Edd said.

"Ah dunna caer ef ye ken heer meh manlin. I nae caer leess. Ah caem tae Nooln tae get suhm soopleahs for defending Blahk Fuir Pahss, but I caen baelry get a thing. So ween Ah'm un'appy, ye's gunna beh un'appy wit meh!" He retorted grumpily, and urged his mules forward.

The trade caravan exactly when Otto said it would, with Edd and Ed barely making it in time, as the College took an extra long time in giving Edd a repeater handgun as a gift for his work and contribution to the college. They were greeted by a number of surly dwarfs that saw the humans as more of extra luggage than anything else. The caravan moved slowly but with a purpose, forever on the lookout for bandits, mutants, and others that would ambush the caravan for its precious goods. Dwarfs felt little need for trade with humans, as many things dwarfs needed, they were capable of making on their own, and of much better quality than human versions. However, food was starting to dry up and the cannons were starting to deplete as the forges were churning out weapons for the Oath bearers and dwarfs were called away from their normal jobs of harvesting and fishing to serving in the Oathbearers or tending to the forges. At this point dwarfs needed human weapons has they were running short on their own. And beer. Bugman's Brew, though more prized than almost anything else, was starting to produce less as the Greenskin stranglehold of the region forbade the gathering of ingredients and time needed to brew it. So dwarfs also had to turn to humans for their spirits. It was indeed a dark time for them, and the dwarfs in the caravan were not even trying to hide their displeasure. "Och so now we got to watch out for some manlings, neither of em look fit for fighting." One said to its comrade.

"Yeah I heard one of them's a magic user. Think that'll help?"

"I don't see no pointy hats, and we all know anyone that uses magic has a pointy hat." He joked with his friend, who apparently found it funny. Ed being as he was, was too enraptured in his books to care. Edd was a little put off by this behavior until he realized the books were mainly pictures and how to cast various spells.

The dwarfs stopped by Geldenstadt to re-supply and trade little, putting a little change in the life Edd found of waking up to dwarfs drinking ale and belching, listening to dwarfs complain about shoddy human workmanship, and gong to sleep listening to dwarfs mutter in Khazalid about better times. In Geldnestadt the dwarfs got into barfights. That was the only difference, but Edd thanked whoever was watching him for it anyway, as he took that time to wander about the streets of the town, perusing the wares of various shops, sometimes buying a pie here, and skimming an interesting book there. His time was cut to an abrupt end when a towns crier came running down the streets "The undead attack again! The undead attack again!" Almost immediately the town was in a riot as women and children rushed into their homes and men hastily garbed themselves for war. The dwarfs stumbled out of the inn, one holding an ale barrel under his arm, trying to discern the commotion.. When they figured there was an attack, their drunken haze seemed to actually embolden them as they unbuckled their weapons and headed for the front. "Oh dear…" Edd said, as he unholstered his repeater. Using a gun was bad enough for him. Fighting zombies and who knows what else made it about a hundred times worse, as he raced to follow the dwarfs.

The entrance to Geldensadt was hastily barricaded with overturned wagons, crates and heavy objects as men stood behind equipped with a motley assortment of ranged weapons. Bows, crossbows, pistols handguns, and even one had only a sling, and each one was aimed at the shrouded shambling horde slowly making their way towards the town. Men shivered with fear at the sight of the zombies, recognizing some as relatives they had buried at some point in their past. The dwarfs however, looked ecstatic, roaring obscenities and swinging their hammers and axes in the air. Apparently they too were bored of the monotonous schedule from protecting the caravan. Sven was not amongst them, but was perched on top of his cart, a dwarf made handgun held in his arms. "Ah'll be stone deid 'afor Ah'm letting these buggers cloose to mah guds!" he bellowed and fired a shot. Dwarf guns, though smaller than human guns, were built for distance, and the shot hit home, taking off half a zombies' head. Unfortunately it was the lower half with only the meat blown away, leaving the top hanging loosely from the spine. In response the rest of the defenders opened fire, each projectile finding a target. The horde of corpses were so closely formed together that it was impossible not to hit them. Edd found his repeater giving him an edge even Sven didn't have, as he loosed shot after shot at the creatures. The zombies fell by the dozens, few rising back up, but the numbers were simply too many. Just as they reached the barricades, half the humans pulled out their melee weapons, also being an ad hoc assortment of chipped swords, bent hammers, and even one or two fire pokers, and stood ready to engage. The dwarfs threw themselves at the zombies howling dwarf curses as they did, and laughing drunkenly as they hacked any that came to close to their rune-encrusted weapons. The zombies however were taking tallies of their own, when a human became to enraptured in the slaughter, he would wander too far into the zombie ranks, he would quickly be dragged down and devoured, his screams faintly making it through the mound of bodies piled over him. Edd withdrew in horror and disgust to see a man get his throat torn out, blood spraying the undead in a red haze. Sven cuffed Edd upside the head. "Wit's the matter wit yeh ladies? Ken's yeh see there's still foightin' tam do!? Stop sucking yer tomb or we're all deid.!" And resumed firing at the zombies. Edd, both out of determination to live, and fear of receiving another cuff to the head from Sven (which to him felt like Ed slapping him with a plank of wood), he quickly loaded his repeater and loosed another volley into the tightly knit horde.

The zombies started to suffer from their suicidal, run as a mountain of broken bodies surrounding the defenders was testament to. As the last zombie fell, its skull cleaved in twain by a dwarf axe, a piercing cry filled the air, and bounding through the mists, came what looked like humans, but hideously scarred and mutated. "Ghouls!" yelled someone, and the fighting resumed once again.

"Beep Beep! Coming through! Ten Four Tango! Zeroing in! Roger that!" Ed suddenly came bounding out of the inn, various bottles of what was once alcohol in his hands. He skidded to a halt and spun around, hurling the bottles at the ghouls. The bottles had varying effects. Some screeched as their skin began to melt, others were set alight, and the rest simply exploded. Before even the first ghoul reached the ruined barricade, the second assault was stopped. After a few minutes, and nothing else emerged from the fog, the humans gave out a ragged cry of victory.

……

"Ah gots ta say lad. Yeh were quoit fahst on yer toos there, but ey' we still won. Ah can say Ah'll feel much safer wit yeh guardin meh guds." Sven said to Ed, clapping his back. Ed was the hero of the day for turning around what would have been a bloody battle into a decisive rout. Edd was also quite amazed with Ed's sudden battle prowess

"Ed that was amazing, where' you learn how to make those thing?!" Edd exclaimed after the men had disbanded and the barricades repaired.

Ed simply smiled and pulled up a book, and pointed to its cover. VARIOUS ALCHEMICAL MIXUES FOR THE APPRENTICE GOLD WIZARD was emblazoned on the front. Edd sighed. "I see, it would certainly explain why you were late for the fight. Mixing and pouring those mixtures into empty bottles must have been a serious chore."

"They weren't empty." Said the innkeeper who snuck up behind him. "Those were my finest, and only bottles of Elf wine. It took me 4 years to get those bottles and he uses them instead for mixing those damn explosives!" he fumed. But then he softened. "I'm sure the College will be compensating me for this." He smiled, looking at Edd. Edd was confused at first until he saw that Ed was pointing at him. "You traitor Ed!" he yelled as he rummaged in his pockets.

……

Curse them to the wastes. Aduolf Goebber had been running short on bodies for his army after countless raids by greenskins on his travels to learn more about the forbidden arts of necromancy. He had hoped that the town could easily be sacked to replenish his ranks and his pantry. He was not expecting to have a Wizard there defending the townsfolk and he knew it would only be a waste of his precious soldiers to throw another assault at that magic user. Now he barely had enough zombies and skeletons to protect himself, and the greenskins were getting smarter, to take the bodies of their fallen to deny him his soldiers. Curse that wizard, and curse his followers to the Wastes and back. He would assault him once he left Geldenstadt. Him and those dwarfs will be in a much more vulnerable position once they leave the hamlet, and they will provide him with JUST enough bodies allow him a second raid on Geldenstadt. Let the villager's quail as their valiant defenders turn on them. And he will personally lead them to watch the pitiful souls as he sucks the life force from their pathetic bodies. HE smiled, and with a flick of his will, his small army of undead moved away and readied themselves for the ambush. He will learn that as intelligent as the Gold wizard was, he was no match for Aduolf's necromancy.

……

Ed was currently answering the call of nature and picking his nose, when he removed a particularly large glob of mucus. "Oh no! I pulled out my brain!" and he shoved the glob back in his nose. "Disaster averted" he sighed contently.


	4. Chapter 4

4

"Whut yer doin back there manlin'? Ye've been back there fer most o tha trip sence we left. Did ye break somethin' back there?!" Sven shouted into his cart. The caravan train was moving and Edd had disappeared into Mogenisson's cart and had not come out for practically any reason save for using the restroom (which was always a bush not too far from the caravan). Apparently he took his helplessness to heart at Geldenstadt, brooding listlessly while the others celebrated. When the caravan moved again, Edd had worn he was going to 'improve his capabilities in combat' as he said to Sven, who was still recovering from a hangover. Afterwards he had commissioned Molger Mogenisson's cart for his purposes. What they were only Sven could guess, but his curiosity was steadily eating away at his patience.

"Nothing you need concern yourself over Mr. Sven.", came his reply. Sven shook his head, and turned to his current traveling companion Ed. "So this Ed here is supposed to be this reel smart manlin eh? Not too keen on the foightin now?"

Ed nodded sagely, which looked out of place for him. "Oh yeah, he's really afraid of getting hurt, which is weird cuz he always gets hurt whenever we get Sarah mad. Or Kevin mad. Or Rolf mad. Or Johnny mad. Or all of them mad. Or-"

"That's enuff Ah think Ah gots a gud pictoor of yer loif. You joost get folks all steemed up with yer aye?"

"Or running from the Kanker sisters." Ed replied, shuddering at the mention of the 'K' word. Sven raised an eyebrow.

"Kankers. And joost who be they? A boonch o trolls? The only thing evar ta scare me were an angry she-troll. They can be qooite nahsty when they wanta." Sven said.

"Aye, but what's worse is a Chaos troll. Those things regrow their limbs even faster than trolls do, and they're all mutated too, making em even harder to kill." Piped Molger.

"Maybe, but they still don't got the temper of a she-troll. Ah met one an that was enuff fer moi whole loif."

"I heard that a Slayer killed one and its mate once, while retaking a dwarf hold."

"Ah yeh knoo how Slayer stories get exaggerated wit every dwarf that heers it."

"Well mine came from a very reliable source. At least when he's sober. And I'm pretty sure he was sober when I wa-"

"Hist! Don't yah heer that younglin'?!" Sven cut him off. Molger fell silent and strained himself for a sound. The entire caravan stoped and grew quiet. Even the clanking and whirring in Mogenisson's cart had ceased. Ed tried to figure out what everyone was so tensed up about, but eventually gave up and tried to remember what his teacher told him to do in situations like this. His recollection was something like this:

_"Are you listening boy? Put that down it is not a to; that was given to me by Archmage Teclis! It is very delicate. And don't touch that, do I have to turn your hands to stone before you stop? Alright I'll do it! There...now that I have your...semi-undivided attention. You will encounter situations in this world that will render you into a vulnerable position. Stop picking your nose and listen to me! Ambushes, raiding parties, and marauding bands are an everyday part of life in the more wild parts of the Empire. And you will need to be able to sense your attackers before they get to strike if you wish to survive. No that is not cheating as you only have your robes, while they hide behind layers of plate armor. Now then let us begin the lesson…as soon as you stop trying to eat the table. No it isn't chocolate anymore! I was using that as an alchemy example!"_

Returning from his recollection Ed followed the procedure as he had been told, and forced to repeat exactly ten thousand times. Calm yourself, feel the winds of magic. Pull upon the wind of Chamon. Stop scratching your butt crack. If you aren't then use your magic now to find any being moving around you. He reached out, and felt a number of beings around the caravan. There was something odd about the though. None of them had a heartbeat. Only one did, but it was faint, as it was quite far away. "An ambush." He said aloud as he let go of the winds.

"Aye, Ah'm not surprised, wee're getting close to a Greenskin encampment. An' a whole manner of different monsters live ere. I wouldna be surprahsed if one o them though they'd get a free meel outta us." Sven replied, and reached into his cart for his gun. And then it began to rain bodies.

……

Aduolf cursed the dwarf's perceptive hearing. Had they moved just a little further in, the caravan would have been completely surrounded by his forces. But now they were only halfway is, allowing at least half of the train to retreat and regroup. Grulk felt its master's annoyance and shifter in its position. Gruk in life was a Black Orc, serving as a Big Un for the warcamp nearby, keeping gobbos in line and making sure all the boyz knew Grumlok was best.. He thought he could prove is strength to be the next boss of the camp by getting more shinies for his pile, and prove his battle mastery over the camp's current boss. At least that was the reason he attacked Aduolf's army of undead. Grulk eventually fell to one of Aduolf's spells; and not wanting to waste such a fine specimen of brutality and strength, Aduolf raised Grulk's body to his will. His undead service to the necromancer was highly valued as he still retained all the strength and power he held in life, with none of the usual Orc brutishness. However the wound he dealt Grulk began to fester as of late and having him so close was becoming more and more unbearable as the stench grew stronger.

Aduolf felt the winds of magic stir, and then he noticed the focus of magic within the Gold wizard below. He knew! Dammit all to the wastes he now knew the ambush was coming! His will pushed at his followers to attack now. It was the equivalent to a silent scream as the undead rushed to obey, the only one yelling was Aduolf as Grulk hoisted him up and jumped down the ridge. Even if he only managed to kill the Wizard, then hi revenge would be complete ad the rest would fall like flies. He pulled on the winds of magic and began weaving a spell he was sure would destroy the troublesome wizard once and for all.

……

The undead fell upon the caravan, skeletons brandishing rusted blades, zombies moaning, and one particularly large, unhealthy looking Black Orc fell behind the rest, carrying on his shoulders a man that wore the robes of a magic-user. Before the undead even touched the ground battle was joined. Dwarfs caved in skulls and severed legs with their massive axes and hammers. Flints ignited as guns shot their deadly payload into zombies, splattering their rotting flesh on their uncaring comrades.

The evil looking wizard hissed and shot a massive ball of dark magic straight for Ed. However Ed countered with a spell of his own and the alchemical fire dissipated along with the necromantic energies. The wizard's face contorted with rage and prepared another spell, just as Ed was making one of his own.

The battle seemed to have won by the dwarf. Few ere wounded and even fewer killed, while all that remained of the undead force was the necromancer and the Orc that carried him. Dwarfs that tried to interrupt the magic duel were shot by skeletons that stayed on the ridge, firing arrows at anyone that tried to assault their master. The guns proved little use as the skeletons had the advantage of height and could not be targeted properly. And the Skeletons would then counter with a hail of deadly arrows. Dwarfs fell in the dozens after each volley, and many were forced to retreat into their carts, leaving almost no artillery support for Ed, who now had to shield himself not only from the arrows but from the necromancer's magic.

"Sorry I'm late." Said Edd emerging from Mogenissons's cart, a long tube attached to a tank strapped to his back. "Had a few kinks to iron out." He grinned as he placed a pair of dwarf working goggles over his eyes. He aimed the tube upwards and gout of liquid flame went into the air, setting the skeletons alight. The skeletons were impervious at first it seemed as the fact there were on fire didn't seem to affect them, but their legs gave away to the immense heat s their bows turned to ash and cracked in their hands. Some were reduced to throwing their arrows until the flames finally reduced the skeletons to charred husks. Edd smiled as the last of the skeletons fell. "Worked better than I thought."

The necromancer let out a shrill cry of anger and was redirecting the spell at Edd, who looked on in surprise and confusion. The wizard was ready to unleash the spell when he was interrupted as the orc supporting him turned into a pig. A zombie pig, but still a pig. "The Alchemist strikes again!" yelled Ed triumphantly as the necromancer stumbled to his feet. He then turned about and ran, swearing n broken Reikspiel. A few dwarfs tried to make a shot at him, but the necromancer threw up a mist, blocking his retreating form from sight. The survivors let out a cheer that shook the pass. Dwarfs all over ran to congratulate the two humans in their ranks, patting their backs, and offering them toasts of ale. The two originally 'deadweight' humans were finally accepted among the dwarfs.

……

Aduolf fumed as he finally stopped running. Confident he was far enough from the caravan, he was resting under the canopy of a pine tree, cursing the dwarfs and the wizard and that horrible engineer. One spell would have ended it all, yet that damned Engineer had to get in the way and ruin his concentration. Well this was not the end. HE would raise a new army. Wherever there was a battle fought, there were corpses, there were old towns and ruins, and there would be corpses there. And he would raise them all, and he would have his vengeance against those who wronged him. Those who dared to oppose Aduolf in his endeavor to be an even greater necromancer than Nagash. His daydreaming was cut short when he heard a deep, loud voice bellowing. "I see a humie! Get im ladz!" he turned in time to see a horde of Orcs charging at him. He only had enough time to get up before the first one was one him. The last thing he heard was "WAAAGH!" before a massive choppa cleaved his head in twain.

……

"Tell meh manlin, are yoo familiar wit' a Dwarf named Mogen Eriksson?" Sven asked Edd as the caravan ploughed into Black Fire Pass.

"No, in fact, I am very unaware about many aspects of dwarfs. In fact, until I came to the College of Engineering, I never even knew dwarfs existed." Edd replied apologetically.

"What?! What kinda place didja be bairn in ta be such an ignorant manlin'? Even dem manlins off in dat land called Cathay know whut we are." Sven spluttered, surprised that a human could not even know dwarf existed. Eh was unsure whether he should feel pity or insult. "Weel it's alright, cuz the only too folk Ah knoo of in all of the Old Warld that ken make somethin loik that would be Mogen and that manlin ye call Leonard-Le-Leonah-whut's 'is name agen?"

Molger trotted along side the cart looked up at Sven. "Leonardo de Miragliano." He said nonchalantly.

"Yah, that's it. Crazy names ye manlins give each other."

Ed emerged from Sven's cart. "Uh guys? Something doesn't feel right here." he said uneasily. Sven looked back and nodded. "Aye, that probably cuz of all the greenskins runnin aroond 'ere. But doon't be worryin' none, the dwarfs of Thandrik Valley oughta be keeping em in check."

Edd smiled at the thought that at least he wasn't going o be entering a warzone. As if to mock him, Sven said stoutly. "An' that's where wee're headin'." Edd choked a bit, but managed to keep a calm, straight face. "and these greenskins, you say, they aren't that tough right? I mean, the only reason you're having trouble is a shortage of resources, so you can probably push them back easy once you have your weapons. Right?"

"No, not really.", Molger said, getting bored of just listening and wanting to prod the human. "Orcs are larger than men, and their fists are as bug as a man's head. Their arms are nothing but muscle and covered t a way skin that can repel most swords, notice that's why we prefer hammers and axes, the only things heavy enough to cut them. Even then, they have nasty tempers. Cut an arm off, and you only get it angry. Why once I saw a dwarf chop an Orc's leg off and tried to back off enough to shoot the thing with his handgun when the Orc simply grabbed its leg and dragged the dwarf back, and beat him to death with its own leg. They don't get weaker as they get older, but bigger, stronger and even harder to kill. And they always come back. No matter how many you kill, there's at least a hundred more close by. Then there's the Black Orcs who are even larger, who knows when they came around but they are even nastier, capable of swinging massive cleavers in one hand, when a human can barely even lift it with both hands. And then as if their tough skin wasn't enough, they cover themselves in plate mail thicker than A wheel of goat cheese.

Then there's the goblin cousins, who are tiny but make up for it with sneakiness, cunning, affinity to magic, and massive numbers. Those nasty little buggers can harness the power of the Orcs and use it to cast powerful spells. I heard one shaman was around so many Orcs and Goblins, that all that energy gave it a spell so powerful, it actually broke down the walls to Karak Eight Peaks.

And their pets, are Squigs, which are basically balls of muscle and teeth. They aren't very tough on their own, but then again, they are never on their own, always traveling in packs, and can easily swallow a goblin whole, or bite half a man off in one gulp.

And the horde we're holding at Thandrik Valley is the biggest we have seen since…well ever. We honestly have never seen a Greenskin horde so massive and coordinated before. Its part of why we were blindsided by them."

"That's enuff Molger, yer takin the foight outta 'im" Sven grunted, eyeing Molger. Edd simply looked on smiling as if nothing was wrong. His skin however, was much whiter than before.

……

Thandrik Valley was a right mess. Bodies littered the ground, in some areas to Ed's horror more dwarf that Greenskin. The bodies of Orcs were a sight that chilled Ed's blood. A massive brutish looking monster, covered almost completely by hastily patched together armor, and sporting a massive, evil-looking ax that looked like it could bisect him in one chop. Even in death it held the ax tightly, and in the other hand, it held a chocked human in a death grip. Apparently it was determined to take its killer to the grave with him as Edd noticed a sword sticking though its skull. That bought Edd's attention to the massive tusks in the Orcs, lower jaw. They were long enough to impale a man's head on them and as if to be more menacing, they were plated by iron. Fires blazed as dwarfs carted greenskin bodies off to these pyres for burning. Humans were defending some areas, but many were wounded, and many more, dead, receiving their last rites from warrior priests. Ad hoc defenses and barricades were everywhere, and the gate to Thandrik Valley looked as if it had sustained multiple batterings in a short time, mismatched planks of wood nailed in seemingly random places, hinges ready to fall off, and some patched were blackened by telltale fire arrows. Even as the citizens went about with their chores of fixing and tending to the livestock, the guns on the wall were banging loudly, their rhythmic shot leaving a ringing sound in Edd's ears.

"'Ome sweet 'ome" Sven said bitterly as he dismounted his cart. He approached an Old looking dwarf, talking in Khazalid, every now and then pointing to either the caravan or to Ed or Edd. The Old dwarf looked at them with a mixture of contempt, relief and exhaustion. After a few more words, Sven returned. "Weel lads. End o the line fer ye. Off ye go." He said, waving his hand, as if to brush them off.

"What? Why?" stammered Edd.

"Cuz I gotta go put whut we got from the manlins into the stores, then get ready ta leave again. You are expected ta stay ere an help us keep them greenskin buggers on that side o the wall. No off!" Edd needed no further direction, and jumped off, taking his belongings with him. Ed jumped out of Sven's cart, his pack dangling off his back, and his staff held tightly in the other hand.

"Ah never wuz guid wit gudbyes so Ah ain't sayin' none.", Sven said somberly. "Instead Ah'll just advise ye wit this: Don't get killed, or them greenskins'll eat ye. Right off we go agin." And the caravan moved off, over a hill and disappeared into a tunnel.

"Now what?" ed asked, quite out of place in the middle of a warzone.

"We find the dwarf in charge and get checked in I guess." Edd replied.

"Yep, you the man with the plan!" Ed said happily. And followed Ed towards the hill that was lined by dwarf sentries. It was a steep climb as Edd started to pant and wheeze from the exertion, earning scornful looks from the sentries they passed. Ed however seemed unfazed and looked back at his slow comrade. "Come on Double D, your all smart now right? Can't you build something that'll make walking faster for you? Or do I have to carry you again?"

"Don't pant have pant the materials I need pant to build some-pant-thing like that." Edd wheezed between choked gasps.

Ed needed no further talk. He hoisted Edd onto his shoulder and treaded up the hill, carrying Edd like a sack of potatoes, much to the delight of the dwarf sentries who laughed and guffawed as they passed.

Reaching the top, Ed dropped Edd unceremoniously to the ground. Edd, with only injured pride looked around at his surroundings. There was a squat building next to a launch pad, where a wooden gyrocopter was perched. Further down the road was a path to the Valley Wall, and further down was a lone tree where some human, perhaps a scholar was sitting underneath it. Why a scholar was so close to a conflict Edd could not fathom, but he could find no other reason for someone to be under the tree. Shrugging, he entered the building to his left.

The building turned out to be a bar, where dwarfs were gleefully downing stein after stein of dwarf spirits, and getting properly drunk. It was a mix of dwarfs, engineers, warriors, and every now and then, the red mohawk of a Slayer. Near the middle of it all, sat the aged dwarf from before. Edd slowly approached careful not to get in the way, of any dwarfs, especially if they were throwing a fist. "Excuse me?"

"What you want manling? I'm busy getting drunk."

"My name is Eddward, and I currently am supposed to be the emissary from Nuln's College of Engineering and my friend here,", he pointed to Ed who had joined a line of drunken, dancing dwarfs as hey sang dirty dwarf songs and downed even more ale "is Ed from the college of Magic. We have been sent here as I have been told that the emissary for Nun is no longer here?"

"Yeah that be true. Poor sod was to close to the front. Testing some new handgun of his when a Wyvern swooped down and ate him." He said nonchalantly. He moved and picked up the stein given to him and swallowed its contents in one gulp. "Anyway, you'd best be headin to the wall, and tell yer quartermaster there who you are. Till then, your just extra baggage. Now leave me alone, I'm real close to blacking out and I don't want you to be the last thing I see." He said gruffly. Edd huffed silently t himself and pulled Ed along out of the bar, still singing along in his own version of Khazalid, which apparently was nothing but cussing as it earned him shocked looks and drunken laughter.

"I thought Sven was bad enough, but that dwarf in there was the most unkempt, surly little-thing it has ever been my misfortune to come across! Why I should go back in there-"

"Double D, you're using big words again and I have no idea what you're saying." Ed reminded him, knocking his staff on Edd's head for effect.

"I know, its just that he was so infuriating!" Edd replied. "I can't think of anything worse to happen to me today."

As if to one-up him. A loud bang signaled a lucky hit from the Greenskins as a rock lobba, meant to hit the bar, shot its payload directly into the wall's gate. In a shower of splintered wood, the ate collapsed and a resounding cry went up. Edd rushed to the wall to see what was happening, and the sight made him almost faint in terror. A sea of green cramped the passage towards the gates and a tower that was probably meant for a dwarf lookout, had an enormous effigy of a poorly done skull leering from it. In front of the skull stood an armored Orc, waving its massive weapon in the direction of the wall. Even over the din of weapons clashing against shields, whooping greenskins, and flatulent boars, he heard the Orc yell "Into da stunty camp boyz, smash em all an take dere stuff! WAAAGH!"

The greenskins below replied "WAAAAAAGH!", in with a resounding cacophony of voices so loud, the ground shook, and as one, they charged. Massive Orcs, waling goblins, and angry squigs all, they charged.


	5. Chapter 5

The massive green tide surged towards the gate, completely unfazed by the casualties they took as the dwarfs rained down bolts and cannon fire. Edd had ignited his flamethrower and was waiting for the most opportune moment. Just as he could make out the features of the closest Orc, its skin rattled with scars and piercing, he let loose a torrent of liquid fire. The first row of greenskins screamed as they caught alight, their skin made all the more flammable by years of built up face grease and scum. The green tided halted, trying to keep away from the moving wall of flame, but those behind them merely pushed the line forward, feeding even more greenskins to the fire. Edd allowed himself to feel proud as he saw what would have been a costly defense turn into a sweeping route. Odd enough, the dwarfs weren't cheering. They still looked on grim. "What's wrong?" Edd inquired. "This is a victory or us."

"Not yet it isn't manling," replied a dwarf next to him. It was the same foul mouth from the pub, his breath stinking of alcohol. "We've been fightin these Grobi for years now, and if anything we've learned, they're too damned stubborn to ever call it quits."

Sure enough, the flames began to die, and the greenskin tide redoubled, giving a mighty roar 'WAAAGH!' and surged over thee bodies of their fallen kin. Edd's blood chilled to see that even with all the greenskins that had died, their numbers seemed unfazed. Gobbos perched themselves on the lone tower and began to return fire, pelting the wall with badly aimed arrows and spears. However it had the desired affect as everyone had to duck their heads, because even with the atrocious aim, there were enough projectiles in the air that a lucky kill could easily happen.

Dwarf ironbreakers formed a line at the mouth of the gate as the first Orc stepped through. Then they slammed into the dwarf line, swinging massive axes and cleavers, clashing with the dwarfs with brutal ferocity. Dwarfs spat curses at cackling greenskins as they bought their rune etched weapons down on the crude steel of Orc shields. The ironbreakers proved testament to their name. None fell, and none ever moved back.

That changed however with the emergence of a scraggly looking goblin. An orc had raised it up over its shoulders and the goblin was screaming at the top of its lungs, and the air began to become sharp with the feeling of electricity. Sparks began to form at its fingertips. In moments a raging storm of energy grew in its hands. With a yelp, it threw the energy straight at the line of ironbreakers. Dwarfs are hardy, and being so close to the Earth, magic doesn't affect them as much as humans or elves. But the pent up energies of the WAAUGH proved too much even for them as the ironbreakers were cast aside by the spell. The Orcs let out a mighty cheer and rampaged through.

A horn sounded and a line of human pikemen advanced, their pole arms giving them a slight advantage over the greenskins. Dwarf ranger, armed with handguns rushed to help them hold the line, shooting down any Orcs that tried to break through the halberd wall.

Edd crawled along the wall, Ed following, until they peered over the other side of the wall. Edd fought down an urge to scream, as he was directly above a never ending throng of greenskins. He could even make out their thick language.

"Chop up da umiez an take dere stuff!"

"Get da stuntiez an take dere beer!"

Edd pulled his flamethrower to the edge of the wall when he heard a familiar loud voice. "Can Rolf not have even a moment of rest with infernal Greenskins trying to break something?!" Edd craned his head to the source. From behind the lone tree Rolf emerged, sporting a plate that covered only his heart tied around his chest, and loose chain mail covering his upper legs. His eyes were bloodshot as someone who had just woken up. He spun around and grabbed hold of the tree he had been sleeping under, and pulled. With a grunt, he finally wrenched it free, just as the first Orcs were charging up the ridge. "In honor of my ancestors!" yelled Rolf as he swung the massive tree trunk in his arms, sending groups of greenskins flying into the air. The greenskin assault faltered. Rolf pressed home and bought the tree slamming down on another group of greenkins, with a sickening splat. The goblin shaman yelped in surprise and desperately tried to weave another spell, but before he even began, the massive tree swung about and sent the little goblin rocketing into the air. With this show of might, the Greenskins fell into a quick retreat. Rolf yelled with exertion as he flung the tree after them, smashing many more goblins and Orcs before they ran out of range of even the dwarf guns. Rolf trudged towards the fallen tree, hoisted it up, and planted it firmly where the gate doors once were.

"And now Rolf shall partake of the Bugman to slake his thirst!" he declared over the throng of cheering dwarfs. The mention of beer only intensified their roars of approval. Edd shook his head, in disbelief, relief, and surprise.

"Never have I been so happy to see Rolf. And someone the dwarfs hold in high esteem."

Rolf scanned around him at the cheering dwarfs. He then spotted Edd and Ed. He smiled an waved greeting "Oh! Hello Ed boys, Rolf was beginning to wonder if anyone else survived the trials of horror."

Ed waved back. "Hi Rolf! I'm a wizard!"

"A what?"

……

The Dark Elf noble Maelath Ulthorin frowned as the greenskins retreated again. With a huff he made towards the 'boss' or whatever the orcs called their leader. "I thought you said victory was certain when you had the weapons of my people. And yet the cursed dwarfs still hold." He motioned a hand towards the Dark Elf Ballistae that now replaced the usual ramshackle Orcapaults.

The Orc boss was a massive figure, completely covered in thick layers of metal, with only an slit for his eyes. If anything he looked like a walking tank. This was complete contrast to Maelath, tall, but not as tall as the Orc, garbed in delicate purple silk with metal plating hidden underneath to protect his vitals. His pointed features however matched the Orc's in terms of rage.

"Wotz it my fault for?! Da Orcz neva loze! Weze iz gonna win!"

"You've been saying that since I arrived a month ago, and as of yet, you only barely managed to get passed there was before being beaten back by a mere human!" the dark elf retorted, pronouncing the word human, like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Dat don't bovva uz none. Why dontcha get outta ere pointy ear, an do sumfin worf doin, lik fightin dem uvva pointy earz."

"Rest assured, I would like nothing more than to leave you and your rabble behind to see the fall of my hated kin, Khaine damn the Asur forever, but I have been instructed by the Witch King himself to oversee why you cannot bring down a single damnable wall, where as your compatriots have already pierced deep into these lands, as far as the human village of Priesterstadt if I remember correctly. And you," Maelath raised a finger. "A perfect specimen cannot even move his forces an inch."

"I'll move me boyz whenz I feel like it!" the Orc responded dangerously.

"I just hate to have to tell…Grumlok," he deliberately emphasized the Warboss's name to get a reaction. "That a particularly naughty boy is not moving his perfect WAAGH! Forward like a good orc should."

"Alright! I'ze gonna attack again!" the orc replied with a hint of urgency. He turned to his boyz. "Come on ya gitz, start getting everyun else togevva, we'ze gonna have annuvva go!"

Maelath smiled as he snapped his fingers. The slave, who until now had been completely silent edged up to him, and held up a silver tray from his shackled hands, a small chalice of pure diamond and gold placed perfectly in the middle. He took the chalice from the slave and sipped for a moment, smiling at the wondrous horrors he would soon unleash, those stunted ones would learn the folly of keeping him away from his rightful place: beside lord Ulthorin laying siege to the High Elf lands of Ulthuan. His slave felt his masters pleasure and cringed slightly in fear. The hood dropped and Jimmy's disheveled face looked up at Maelath, pure terror written in his eyes.

"Careful you disgusting little animal!" Maelath sneered at Jimmy. "That tray is more valuable than your miserable life. Scratch it, and I will subject you to suffering so perverse, you will beg for death, a luxury I will not grant."

Jimmy nodded in fear, and held the tray away from his shackles, or anything that could possibly scratch it.

……

Rolf and the Eds had exchanged stories in the pub around groups of dwarfs singing in Khazalid. Apparently Rolf had landed in Barak Varr, where he was imprisoned by the dwarfs under suspicion. While his cart was being taken to the Slayer Keep, they were ambushed by a warband of Dark Elves and Orcs. During the time, his prison cart was broken open and he had plenty of opportunities to escape, but instead, he helped his dwarf jailers, fighting off the Orcs with his manacles, and managed to incapacitate a Dark Elf fencer, something dwarfs knew was beyond the ability of most humans. For aiding the dwarfs during an ambush that would have slaughtered them, he was named Dwarf Friend, something few humans nowadays ever achieved. Ever since then he had been following the dwarfs that had originally arrested him, their travels taking them all the way to Thandrik Valley, where they would hold the Orc line until needed elsewhere. As Edd recounted his tale of becoming an Engineer, and Eds becoming a Gold Wizard (During which point Ed pulled out his parchment again and began to recite), Rolf nodded sagely, but leaned closer, what with the pub being so loud. When they were finished Rolf sighed then took a long draught of his beer. "Ed boys have been though much yes? But no sign of other friends?"  
"Lamentably no."

"Well enough of this chatter." He opened the tap of a Bugman's Barrel and filled two more mugs. "Drink Ed boys, be merry! We shall find our friends soon enough! My new dwarf friends have volunteered to stem the tide of Grobi for now."

Edd grimaced as he accepted the beer. It still had the same taste he abhorred but he was extremely thirsty. A gulpful and he was surprised at how invigorated he felt. He felt like he could charge down that hill and take on the Greenskins hand to hand and still win! Rolf smiled. "I see you are affected by the brew of the Bugman dwarfs. No surprise. The brew of the Bugman dwarfs is potent as anyone who drinks shall feel mightier than even the greatest warrior, much like nana after her morning coffee."

Edd coughed as he felt the burning after sensation in his throat. "I can see that. No wonder the dwarfs love it so much. It really picks them up in such worrisome times."

"Worrisome? What the bloody hell are you talking about manling?" asked the grumpy dwarf from before. Rolf beamed. "Ah greetings to you Bolger dwarf."

"And to you to Rolf." Bolger replied. "Though I'm still surprised that you are friends to these two." He pointed to the Eds.

"We are acquaintances yes. But enough of this pointless gobbling. What of the plan?"

"Right well word is there's some primpy pointy eared noble in the greenskin ranks, and he's loading in a bunch of their siege stuff. Thing is, as fancy as it all looks, most of their equipment is wood. Delicate wood. So we are gonna sneak over during the night, set fire to the siege equipment, and during the confusion, blow up the pass. It should keep the grobi from getting anymore reinforcements for a while." Bolger smiled at the prospect.

"Very good. The Ed boys shall accompany us!" Rolf declared.

"WHAT?!" Bolger and Edd said at the same time.

"What do we need these two manlings for? No offense but this requires strength, and even Bjorn can lift his own gyrocopter and he's just an engineer. I'd like to see one of these manlings does that."

Edd felt stung, but agreed. "Rolf, why would you need us to come along?!"

Rolf smiled. "Call it, how you say? 'Lower intestine lining' feeling."

"You mean gut feeling."

"What does this have to do with the sensation of the stomach of the ground burrowing worm?"

……

Night came faster than any expected. The gate had been repaired during that time and Rolf's team had snuck out in the dark, the only light to guide them was the glow of the twin moons, Mannslieb and Morrslieb. First came Rolf, then Bolger, and the engineer Bjorn, who had wrapped his enormous red beard around his neck to keep it from dragging or catching in his equipment. Edd slowly slinked out of the gate. It was unanimously agreed that Ed would stay behind as he was more of a loud cannon when this situation needed scalpel like precision. They waited for the patrol to pass them before advancing towards the siege firing line. It was all going smoothly as Bjorn pulled out his black water mixture and applied it to all the Dark Elf Ballistae, but being careful to leave the Orc weapons untouched. Then he took out a small flint and with a quick jerk, lighted one. The flames engulfed it almost instantly, and then it spread to another ballista, and another, until the field was alight with fire. An alarm went up as greenskin and elf scrambled to douse the flames. "Right that did it!" Bjorn declared. "Let's go, before we're spotted." And they all vanished behind a smoke bomb Edd had made.

……

Maealath scrambled from his tent to see his siege equipment go up in flames.

"What is this?! Why are all our weapons in flames?!" he noticed that none of the Orc weapons were touched by the flames.

"Treachery! Your lord will here of this Orc!" Maelath yelled at the warboss, storming up to him.

"Wot you gobbin about pointy earz?"

"You set our weapons to the flame you ignorant dolt! You wish to take the dwarf hold on your own, fine! But this…this is treachery! You will die for this!" Maelath screamed, drawing a wicked looking blade from under his robes.

"Jus you try pointy earz! Oi boyz! Dem Elvez iz tryin ta thump us! Swamp em!"

Almost instantly the camp erupted into turmoil as Orc and goblin pounced upon their once Dark Elf allies. Jimmy, along with another ragged looking elf, scrambled from the tent, staring at the carnage. Jimmy found his feet first and began to run. The elf grabbed him. "No Jimmy! If we run the master shall throttle us!"

"He'll have to survive this first Certheas!"

"He will, you know he will! He will punish us for our behavior!" Certheas responded, fear filling his eyes.

"Even if he did. He would still have to find us. Come on!" he grabbed the elf by the hand and ran towards the pass.


	6. Chapter 6

**Man I haven't done this in like, forever. Well here's a new chapter, hopefully I can get the motivation to see it through. I know I haven't with many others. **

**Once again I do not own Warhammer, or EEnE. Maybe one or two OCs that will eventually die, but that's it.**

_Chapter 6_

Only when the sounds of battle died did they dare stop to rest. Jimmy sat on the hard ground, gasping for air, weeks of malnourishment not helping his already undertoned physique. Cearthas, more used to the abuse was simply panting as he scanned his surroundings, his eyes allowing him to view his surroundings in the dark. "If we continue down this way we should be able to find the dwarf hold of Karaz-a-Karak…if it hasn't already been burned down." He said glumly between gasps. Jimmy didn't reply, just continued to heave and wheeze.

In the distance there was a loud explosion. Both turned their heads to see a massive explosions coming up from the camp they had just escaped. Caerthas smiled weakly. "I suppose it was a good idea we left when we did." Jimmy tied to laugh, but instead wound up hacking.

…

The war camp was a smoldering ruin, the only thing standing being the lone dwarf tower, dwarf engineering allowing the stone to withstand amazing amounts of punishment. Among the wreckage of the Dark Elf encampment, a hand thrust out, holding a wicked looking blade. Maelath pulled himself from the ruins, a look of indignation on his scarred face. It was bad enough those greenskins had been defeated, but to be betrayed by them and then have all destroyed by some surprise attack by the stunted ones. He fumed at his failure. It would take many slaves and raiding to regain his favor in House Ulthorin after this fiasco. Speaking of which, two of his slaves were missing. He looked among what was left of his tent. He almost tripped over the corpse of a human child, and in his frustration, hacked at it before kicking it aside, getting a better look at the face. It was indeed one of his, so that accounted for one. In fact, all his slaves still seemed to be present save for two. They could not have been vaporized as they were all too far away from the explosion, and the corpses of his other slaves had held out surprisingly well. He then noticed two sets of footprints heading away from the camp and into the forests. He gnashed his teeth. How dare his slaves escape! He wrenched another blade from the remains of one of his bodyguards and set off down the path. He would tear out their hearts and offer them to Khaine for this affront to his dignity!

…

"This way." The man said, pointing to a tree that didn't seem to stand out at all. He seemed old for his age, blonde hair mussed and greasy from months of not washing it, his clothes in taters, covered by a somewhat scraggy cloak of Sudenland wool. He held a sword in his hands that bore some strange runic script on it, that seemed to glow dully.

"I can see perfectly manling. Besides, that loud bang was enough to wake the dead. I don't need any guide telling me where to go." the dwarf next to him replied. He stood only up to the man's waist, wearing nothing save a striped pair of pants and iron shod boots. His red mohawk made him appear even taller. His nose was bent from countless times getting broken, a length of gold chain running from one nostril, under a patched eye, to his ear. He leaned on his massive and intricate axe

"It wasn't my idea to go through Blackfire Pass to save time Gotrek…"the man replied to his companion wearily. He knew Gotrek had been sober for weeks, and was in a rotten temper. But the news of an impending attack on the Dwarf hold Karaz-a-karak was enough to stir him into action enough not to vent his frustration on Felix, the man.

Gotrek grunted. "Well manling get moving, I came to find my doom in that horde of Grobi, and the longer we tarry, the fewer enemies there will be for me to kill."

…

"A great success, Bugman's all around!" shouted Bolger. Edd smiled to himself. The dwarfs really enjoy their beer. "And you manlin, I never would have used an explosive like that. I dunno whether to praise you or smack ya for being so reckless." Bolger laughed clapping Edd's back hard. Edd winced and smiled back and took a sip from his stein. Though he was still a minor, the beer had a warming affect on him.

"Rolf agrees Always-wearing-a-sock-for-a-hat Ed boy. Those Grobi won't be attacking the dwarfs here again for a long time!"

"Let's go to the wall and view our handiwork." Bjorn declared and marched out of the pub, followed by Edd, and Rolf, leaving Bolger and Ed to get hideously drunk.

The ruins were still alight from the explosions, the flames warming even though stones of the wall. Edd stared beyond the ruins and off into the sky, something Rolf noticed. "We are victorious Edd boy, and yet you are inquisitive. What are you thinking of?"

"This world. When we were kids, we always though about worlds like this, fantasies with elves and dwarfs, and knights and wizards fighting monsters and rescuing damsels. We always wanted to come to this kind of world like some kind of cheesy movie, but now that we're here…it's scary. I can't think of all the times I put myself in harms way, how many times I came close to dying. In all those stories the hero was always in some danger but they always came out unscratched. But I've seen people all around me that were the same material as those heroes, but they were killed by some monster or a lucky shot." Edd looked up and the twin moons and shivered as he felt the evil glow of the Green Moon on his skin. "We still don't know exactly how we got here, and if worse come to it, this may be our new home. And if so, how will we survive."

Rolf seemed lost in thought. "Rolf has only one thing to ask: What is that coming into the hold?" he pointed to what looked like a small coach, accompanied by what appeared to be an army of elves.

"Ach. Elves." Bjorn spat. "The last thing we need are some pointy eared fops telling us what to do. What are they even doing here?"

"I'm not sure, let's go see." Edd replied, relived something managed to get his mind off his homesickness.

Bjorn groaned, not even Bugman's brew could lift his spirits about meeting elves.

…

The elves were clad in chest plates that literally glowed, helms with intricate designs and art that must have taken years to perfectly sculpt, and underneath, chain mail that seemed to weave into the milk white silk gown that covered their entire bodies. Each one head a different sword, different designs, different words carved into the blades, but each one was perfect balanced in the hand of the elves. The coach stopped, there was no trumpet sounding, no announcements, nothing, and the elves stood rigidly by the cart like figures carved from stone. Edd pushed his way to the front and stared in awe. Keller had told him about their high elf allies, but even his descriptions paled to the real thing.

"Swordmasters." Grunted Molger, who looked like he just swallowed a larger disgusting insect. "The haughtiest among a race of haughty fops."

Behind them was line after line of elves, though not quite as regal, still bore a calm stoic appearance, their armor just as polished and well kept as the swordmasters. Each one held a Tower shield perfect in one arm, another held a tall spear, each one held it perfectly perpendicular to the ground. Their faces however were young, and smoother than the ruggedness of the swordmasters, marking them as new recruits, this probably their first time holding a weapon, or even leaving their homeland.

The coach door pushed outward and the sight took Edd's breath away. And Elf girl, no older than he, wearing a gown of red and white silks, her pale, pointed face topped with a crown of gold and emeralds, covering her gold and white hair which was tied into a ponytail, hanging down to her shoulders. In her frail looking hand was a staff that seemed to be carved of ivory and plated with gold, rounded, rubies lining the top which was shaped like the crescent moon. She held a slight air of haughtiness and held her head high as if she was trying to avoid the smell of those around her. A man, garbed in ceremonial armor stepped forward and bowed. "We are honored to have you in our presence, mage." He said with his most polite voice, removing his hat to reveal his balding scalp.

"Of course you are." The elf girl replied nonchalantly, not even turning in his direction.

"The man, slightly jaded by her insulting posture quickly hid it under a smile. "May I ask how goes the war for Ulthuan?"

"It does not concern you human." She replied quickly waving a hand dismissively. "What matters is here and now. I am Belianna Swiftleaf of Hoeth. And I have come to deal with our unfortunate kin."

"Well then you can just turn right back where ya came from you ponce." Molger's gruff voice sounded. Belianna turned on an instant, her eyes practically glowing with that someone should interrupt her. "We sent your Druchii cousins packin' not too long ago."

"If that was all I was worried about, I would not have bothered to come HERE in the first place." The elf huffed. "I come because a great force of Destruction marches upon Karaz a Karak."

The reaction was ranged between shock, and outrage. The dwarfs cursed and yelled in Khazalid, the men of the Empire groaned in exhaustion, all their sacrifice and bloodshed for nothing. "SILENCE!" came the booming voice of Molger. "Explain yourself Elf! We are guarding the only pass to Karaz-a-Karak. Mind telling me how an army managed to slip by us?"

"Simple dwarf." Belianna replied. "Magic. Wards weaved by Malekith's most favored hags, crafted simply to conceal the army, and is now marching upon the gates of your mountain hold. Even now they siege Kadrin Valley, and I believe the hold you call the Slayer Keep, is under siege by a detachment of the greenskins you so despise."

"You still didn't completely answer my question."

"This is not the only pass to Karaz a karak stunted one. There are others, in disuse yes, dangerous yes, but still useable by an army desperate, or senseless enough to use them. And we know how intelligent the Greenskins can be, and the insanity of their Chaos allies."

"Aye, I suppose so. Right then lads, ye heard em, buckle this place down, me and a few others." He pointed to the Edds, Rolf and Bjorn. "Will head to Karaz for a pint, and sit out the siege. We'll be sure to write once it's lifted."

"Apparently there's some dirt in still in your ears dwarf!" Belianna shouted her voice a mixture of shock, outrage, and panic. "An ARMY, marches for your keep, an ARMY. What can a small rabble do against that?!"

Molger, it seemed was ready to charge the elf girl and snap her like a twig. But he calmed himself, counting to ten in Khazalid, and opened his eyes. "Because lass, This should be enough to lift the siege on Karak Kadrin. And once that's done, we'll have our army sure enough."

"But those are just Slayers. What can they do?!"

"I doubt you were alive during the war of the Beard lass, so you wouldn't know. But a Slayer has lost his will to live, and only wants to find the most dangerous enemy to kill, or die fighting it. Maybe that's why we won that war. Because we didn't underestimate the power of the Slayers." Molger let it hang in the air for a moment. "I hope you'll keep this spot safe eh Kemmler?"

The Empire commander, who until then seemed completely lost in the conversation, suddenly came to attention. "What? Oh! Oh yes, Molger, rest assured, the sons of Sigmar will uphold the vow and keep this pass safe." He smiled.

"Lovely! Well boys." He turned to his motley gang. "Time ta go. Pack your things and get ready to leave. I'm gonna go get drunk for a while." And headed off for the pub.

Edd took one last look at Belianna, who turned in his direction with a sneer. "What human?" she demanded, suddenly a few feet away from him.

Edd stammered at the elf's reflexes, given her delicate looking frame. "Err, nothing, just a little lost." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Belianna only sniffed.

"To think we left this world in the care of your kind…how low we have fallen." She muttered.

"Erm, the point of muttering is so I don't hear you."

"What?!'

"Nothing!" Edd smiled and inched away, his face scarlet.

…..

Murg of the Steelgut was the fattest ogre of his clan. And that was a compliment. His raids on trade caravans had yielded rich rewards of treasure and food, and Murg always had first pick of the spoils. If anyone tried to challenge him, he would kill and eat them. A true disciple of the Great Maw. He had been in the lands of Brettonia drinking deep of Brettonian wine while soiling the armor of some noble's son. He had been to the far lands of Araby, eating his fill of exotic animals and people, and even as far as Cathay, the spicy foods causing his gut to rumble and roar like an angry god. However in the Age of Reckoning, he also possessed the intelligence to know not to choose sides during this time of war, and instead attack both, his lighting raids being a bane to dwarf and Greenskin alike. He grinned as he reminisced of his last conquest. A band of Orcs trying to drag some giant stone thing the Dark Elves wanted so badly. He ate the Orcs, and then the Dark Elves, their dinky little swords barely registering as they stabbed his skin. He even kept a few where they were embedded, treating them like new body piercings.

His reverie was broken by the arrival of his gnoblar, Grik, a sniveling little runt, bigger than most other gnoblars, but still a runt, barely as big as a goblin, his long grey nose bent from numerous times being broken. His cringing voice echoed in the oversized hunk of metal he wore as a helmet.

Murg growled his displeasure, demanding an explanation why he was interrupted. When he got angry, he got hungry, but he couldn't eat Grik until he explained himself, so he grabbed a nearby gnoblar and bit his head off, its screams suddenly cut short by a satisfying crunch. Grik whimpered and his story spilled from his mouth, how the dwarf hold had broken the Orc siege, how an army of evil was marching into the valley of the stunted things, how an army of thin elves had marched to join the dwarfs, how this army was continuing to march in the same direction as the army of evil. Murg smiled. He would dine well attacking both of these armies. Butcher Broff warned against it however, saying that even an Ogre should be careful how much he eats in one bite. But Murg was too carried away with visions of riches and gluttony to listen. He mobilized his army to strike. The closest would be the elf army. Yes they would fall first. And after he finished gnawing on their bones, he would go after the other army. His gut growled in anticipation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Well after reading the chapter myself a few times, I also realize this feels a bit fast. So I tweaked it a bit, changed a few words and added alittle more content, just enough I feel to make it feel not so...rushed. Most of it is still the same though, so...yeah...here you go.**

**It just occurred to me that some of you guys are totally lost about Warhammer and its lore, so here's some background for ya. I will continue to add as I introduce more stuff.**

**Sorry but the link images aren't translating over. So to reach the url, replace the '[' with '/' and '{' with '.'**

******Sigmar: The first emperor of the Empire, and deified later on into a god. His holy symbol is the hammer, and he has many devotees through the Empire. The most fanatical are the dispossessed zealots and the disciplined warrior priests. **

http:[[www{imagefrog{net[show{php[37869_SigmarHeldenhammerbyIADM{jpg

**War of the Beard: A war between the High Elves and Dwarves, fought mainly over the injustice the dwarves felt they endured against the elves, but was sparked when a dwarf emissary had his beard shaved. In the end, the dwarves won by attrition and after killing the Elves' Phoenix King, but at heavy cost to both sides.**

**Greenskins: Not just Orcs or Gobbos, but a singular race developed from fungal spores. When they die, their corpse releases spores into the air that sprout into mushrooms in dank, moist places, drawing in nutrients from the ground to develop the greenskin inside. When completed, a greenskins will 'erupt' out of the ground, fully capable of speech, and all the knowledge it needs to know about the WAAAGH! There structure of greenskins is squig, snotling, goblin, and then Orc. However there are also variants, such as gnoblars, hobgoblins, night goblins, and Black Orcs for examples. **

http:[[www{imagefrog{net[show{php[37866_GrumlokandGazbag{jpg

**WAAAGH!: This is more than just a warcry. It is the epitome of Greenskin Culture. The WAAAGH! Is when numerous greenskin tribes put aside their differences and unite under a single leader (da Boss) and sweep in a crusade of sorts with no real end, with no goal other than to find an enemy and fight/kill them. A WAAAGH! Can smash aside whole armies with their sheer numbers and will only stop when the boss is killed, and no new leader takes his place. Then the tribes break down back into fighting each other and the WAAAGH! disperses. However the damage done by a WAAAGH! is devastating, as whole forests are stripped down for their weapons, whole herds of animals slaughtered for leather, and nations devastated by their trail of ruin.**

**Ogres: This isn't like you're a 'Shrek' kind of Ogre. They are bigger than humans, stronger than most Orcs, and more humanoid in appearance save for slightly pointed ears, shark like teeth, and a massive gut. Ogres respect two things: wealth, and gut size. And the bigger the gut, the better off you are, as it means you can afford more food. And anything organic, sometimes also inorganic, is considered food for an ogre. **

http:[[www{imagefrog{net[show{php[37867_ogrebull{jpg

**Gnoblars:** **The gnoblars to the Ogres are the goblins to the Orcs, slaves, spare soldiers, cannon fodder, assistants, and emergency food. They are twice as sneaky and treacherous as their goblin cousins however and are extremely possessive, including of their ogre masters. If a gnoblar thinks another gnoblar is winning the favor of its master Ogre, it usually kills the rival in a fit of jealousy. **

http:[[www{imagefrog{net[show{php[37865_gnoblars10{jpg

**If there is anything anyone else likes to know, tell me in a review.**

**Chapter 7**

Edd was beginning to learn that a High Elf noble was just as annoying as a grumpy dwarf. Belianna found something to complain about constantly, the condition she was forced to travel in, the state of the world, the state of her people, the foolishness of man, switching between Reikspiel and her own Elf tongue, which had a nice melodious tone, despite her anger. Edd tried to drown out the complaints but it seemed to reach his ears no matter how hard he tired to cover them. The dwarfs he sat alongside fared no better, listening to the elf prattling, while nursing hangovers.

Rolf seemed much better however, strange considering he downed just as much beer as the dwarfs. However he happily led the mules on, singing a dwarf tune.

**Oh say does your beard hang low, does it dangle to and fro,  
can you tie it in a knot,  
can you tie in a bow,  
can you sling it over your shoulder like a silly manling soldier,  
oh say does your beard hang low"**

Bolger glared daggers at Rolf while Molger tried to stick his head further into his helmet.

Ed was happily nose deep into one of his books, reading on the best ways to gather troll guts for various potions, bookmarking a particularly interesting page about the effects of Chaos trolls with an 'evil eye' mutation that can blink you to death.

Bjorn stopped looking miserable for just a moment and looked at the Eds. "What's got your beard in a knot manling? Even though you don't got a beard." He directed at Edd.

Edd turned suddenly surprised that the dwarfs were talking, since until then, all he could get out of them were groans and curses in Khazalid that he gratefully did not understand. "Looking about Bjorn," he replied "this is the perfect spot for an ambush."

"And what makes you think that human?" Belianna sneered, her ears picking up their conversation, despite their distance. Her guard looked slightly relieved that she stopped her complaining, but they quickly hid it.

"Look around us. Those rocks could easily provide archers with a vantage point that we could not reach. Bjorn might with his gyrocopter but he will be wide open to retaliation if we can't fire back. And the ridges can easily hide a sizeable army from view until we are surrounded, so we couldn't even know about the attack unless it is too late." He noted. Belianna glared at him, partially because she knew Edd was right, partially because she didn't figure it out before him.

"Well I sensed nothing human, you can rest your head there will be no-**BOOM!!**

A cannon shot drowned out her rant, as a handful of Elf spearmen exploded into the air. **BOOM!** Another shot, it went wide and exploded nearby the Elf archer formations, but the shrapnel it kicked up killed two and wounded several more.

Edd looked up in the direction of the shot. Right where he predicted, there were the assailants. They looked something like humans, but bigger, and fatter…and had sharper teeth. One held a torch between its teeth and tilted its head to the side, lighting the fuse of a cannon it was holding like a rifle. It went off with a **BOOM!** And a billow of rock and dirt went up dangerously close to his cart. Behind these strange humans was something even fiercer looking, with various swords jutting through his skin like piercings, half his face painted red. With a gesture and a bellow, more of the humans came rolling down the slope. Edd would have found it slightly funny how they rolled up like balls if it wasn't for the fact they were attacking him.

"OGRES!" yelled Bjorn, pulling the sheet off his gyrocopter and getting it ready for flight. The Ogres bowled into the army, tackling horses and mules, swatting aside elves with meaty fists before jumping in with massive slabs of sharpened metal, that looked little different from orc weaponry…but looked all the more fearsome in the hands of these ogres. Elves, testament to their skill despite their novice abilities, formed a defensive wall, spears jutting out front in an attempt to stop the ogre charge. However holes were already forming as ogres bowled through, cackling as the spears pierced their flesh.

The dwarfs, forgetting about their hangover drew their weapons, spitting curses at the ogres. Bolger drew his two handed axe, and swung it into the gut of an ogre, near bisecting it. Molger drew out his two hammers, bringing both down on the skull of another. However, this one had a metal plate grafted into its already dense skull, and the impact merely disoriented it. Before it could recover, the dwarf grabbed the ogre's fallen weapon and swung straight for the creatures exposed neck. Before the Ogre's head dropped he was on another, swinging one hammer between its legs and the other into the face as it leaned over to clutch its groin. All the while Bjorn pulled the sheet off his gyrocopter, and struggled to get it started.

Ed seemed to calm down amazingly and began to sway, muttering a chant that was drowned by the din of battle. And ogre thought he'd be an easy target and moved to bisect him, but Rolf thundered between the two and swung his massive club into the ogre face, sending it careening over the cliff side.

Edd fired a shot off at the ogres hoisting the cannons. His shot hit one, but instead of falling, it staggered chuckling, despite the shot to the head. Again, this also had metal grafted into its head. However the shot it was about to fire went wild, and ripped a tree in two. Many of them suddenly went down, clutching at their heads. Edd turned to see Belianna on top of her cart, weaving a spell, and pointing to the ogres, her retinue fighting with all their might to keep her safe.

Bjorn managed to get his gyrocopter into the air, its engine belching smoke, and began to fire his mounted weapon at the ogres on the ridge, the superheated steam punching even the tough ogre hides. Some of the cannon wielding ogres fired at Bjorn but with little success.

The elves on the whole were struggling with the massive ogres, matching their brute ferocity, with tact and skill. Every time they tried to attack however, they found even their master crafted weapons not strong enough to pierce the thick gutplates. Every time they tried to stab anywhere else, the ogre would shrug off the wound, snapping the spear like it was a twig before backhanding his assailant, sending said attacker spinning. However it changed when Ed finished his chanting, and the hard steel of the ogres suddenly turned to soft copper, the elves' weapons suddenly cutting through it like wet paper. Edd smiled inwardly thinking that it looked like they could win this. Then he remembered he hadn't fired a single shot yet and resumed firing, his shot hitting the side of an ogre's head, this one had no grafted headgear and it fell. A bellow from beneath him notified the presence of an ogre crawling towards him, its legs shredded by a cannon shot that was too close. He grimaced and dispatched it with a clean shot between the eyes. Yes, Edd thought as he began to reload, we might win this after all.

……

Well this was a setback Murg pondered. Normally such frail little things would have broken under his lighting assaults. However this was starting to look bad. First there was that annoying pointy eared elf thing making a mess of his leadbelchers. That had to be taken care of. And then there was that stunted thing's flying machine shooting really hot water at them. Really, REALLY hot water. That also had to be dealt with. And then there was that other human wizard thing turning all that hard metal into soft, chewy metal. That was worst of all. Three problems needed fixing. And he just so happened to have three solutions.

He gestured to Broff to begin his spell weaving. The butcher came forward to get a better glimpse of the battle. On one of his many meat hooks hung the head of some Dark Elf noble that died when Murg accidentally sat on him. The butcher grabbed the druchii head, and wrenched the scalp off. He scooped out the decaying brains and stuffed them in his mouth, swallowing the grey matter with a loud gulp. As it reached his stomach, his gut growled and lurched as the digestion tapped into the winds of magic, connecting the Butcher for a brief moment to magnificence of the Maw. He yelled and pointed at the elves, and suddenly he broadcasted the very nightmares, and horrors the late Dark Elf had experienced into the minds of every elf on the battlefield. Many of the elves wailed and grabbed their heads, clenching their eyes shut and clawing at their faces, not accustomed to the depravity of the Druchii.

One.

He barked to Grik, who in turned barked, which sounded more like a squawk, at several teams of gnoblars manning various ramshackle looking devices. Grik screamed again and the Scrap launchers unleashed their ammo into the air. The ogres received a sizeable haul from that raid against the dark elves, and they had with them much Druchii war gear. However, as nice as it all looked, Groff even wore one of the pointed helmets as an ornate headdress, they were nigh useless for the massive ogres too tiny to wear as anything more than fancy hats, and the gnoblars were too tiny to wear the armor or swing the weapons, so they were loaded onto the scrap launchers and hurled right back at the enemies of the Steelguts. The gyrocopter was able to dodge his leadbelchers, but it could not stand to a rain of ordnance and after a glancing blow from an elf's loin plate destroyed his gun, the dwarf was forced to fly his gyrocopter away from the ogres.

Two

Murg grabbed the fallen mammoth horn from the limp fingers of a dead ogre, an arrow sticking out of his eye socket, and a bullet hole where his left ear used to be. He put the horn to his lips and blew a loud blast. At first nothing, then from the top of the mountain came the Yhettee, riding an avalanche down the steep cliff. The wave of snow thundered past the ogres and into the elf lines, smashing elves aside, as the Yhettee, distant, hairy cousins of the ogres, swung their massive clubs at the enemy, the tree branches covered by sharp permafrost.

Three.

……

_I jinxed this I know it._ Edd thought dismally. The ogres managed to not only incapacitate Bjorn's gyrocopter, but also turned half the elf army, Belianna included, into gibbering wrecks, and a bunch of sasquatches came hurdling down, surfing an avalanche fighting alongside the ogres. It was a real mess.

Ed now strained to keep the army safe from the falling ordnance, but there were many holes in his protective ward, as an elf was suddenly impaled by a falling sword. Rolf was joined by Bolger and Molger, who combined were barely holding off the ogres trying to reach Ed. The abominable snowmen were tearing into the Elf lines, their hides even thicker than the ogres and their clubs killed and elf with each swing. And then there was that really scary looking ogre, covered with gore, he suddenly yelled and Belianna suddenly fell screaming. In fact many of the elves were doing just the same, making the giant furry sasquatches' job even easier. Her retinue staggered from the mental attack, but held true defending her against the giant snowmen and ogre alike.

Edd sighed hopelessly as he took aim for the cannon ogres again. _Might as well take as many down as I can, at least then I can say I tried._ It was then he noticed that the ogre leader took one of the cannons from the fallen and was aiming it, at Belianna's coach with her still on it! Without even thinking, he ran for her, dodging ogres, ignoring the shouts of the Rolf and the dwarfs, dodging between the legs of a sasquatch, firing his last shot at the confused creature's face. He clambered up the coach and scooped up the elf's limp form and jumped off just as he heard the massive **BOOM!**

And suddenly he was airborne, hurling over the ridge into the dense forests below. He held the elf girl tightly to him as he felt himself hit something hard. Consciousness slipping from him, he plummeted to the ground. _Saving some primpy, spoiled brat of an elf. _Edd though humorlessly as his vision started to fade. _I suppose there are worse ways to die._

**And that's where I'm ending this one. Nice little cliffhanger for ya.**


End file.
